So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
