Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
