yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
