My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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