I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
