I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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