You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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