Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
