he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
