ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
there is glitter all over my balls
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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