So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
