You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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