every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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