so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
