At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
