"it" just moved
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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