And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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