Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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