And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
