did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
