hell yes lets make some ravioli
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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