You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
