TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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