sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
