Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
