PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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