Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
