I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize