mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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