And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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