Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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