I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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