im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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