What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
