I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
