ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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