I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
