Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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