you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize