I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize