i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
