I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
