Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
