she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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