I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
