rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
