My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
