U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
