Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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