Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
