pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
