He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
