only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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