If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
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Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
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Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize