is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
