oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am available for nakedness
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
And then he peed in my hair
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