i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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