I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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