Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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